Hello friends. Some thought that the joke comparing psychs to foxes in chicken coops was unfair. Who said stuff in this list was going to be fair? We're not into fair here. We're into making fun of psychs and their fake sciences. Here' more bitter humor:
Preacher - What's the difference between psych treatment and selling
your soul to the devil?
Johnny - With psych treatment, Hell starts sooner?
Preacher - Johnny, that's close.
Mary - Preacher, I know. When you sell your soul to the Devil, you get to have some fun before the hell starts.
I saw a shrink smile once. Don't get me wrong, psychs do laugh sometimes when among themselves with no non-shrinks around to watch. They laugh at how funny the patient looked when the voltage was accidently set high on the shock machine. And how about the schlock who stumbled into the wall when the thorazine kicked in? It was a credit to psych training that we didn't bust up right there instead of later when kibitzing with our shrink buddies. These are the in jokes of the trade, sort of like cop black humor. But I did see a shrink give a genuine smile back in '73 after recommending electroshock treatment for my ex-wife. Best I can recollect, the smile crinkled up from the right corner of his mouth as he told me how much he had been thanked by relatives of the patients he had permanently quieted down with electroshock treatments. I didn't find it funny at all and said so. Right then, that little smile went away to be replaced by serious study. I think I fit into a mental disease just about then.
Q - Considering that shrinks commit criminal acts under the guise of
treatment, why do lawyers use them to testify in court?
A - Who else would know how better to get away with crime?
A survey of psychs asking what had been the most important development in psychiatry in the last twenty years yielded this majority response, "the drug revolution." Nevertheless, while many people recognize the inventors of penicillin, polio vaccine, etc. as medical heros, no one really knows who invented a particular psych drug or class of drugs. Perhaps, these inventors don't want to be known for what they have done. Or maybe, they're just humble.
- Counsel: "And what did you observe about Ms. Jones which led
to your decision that she is a danger to society?"
- Shrink: "When I examined her she was extremely arrogant, self-centered and filled with her own self-importance."
Lawrence Wiley, List owner, Copyright (c) 1998