Hello friends. Some of this week's pieces may be offensive to some of you. If they are, I apologize. One is a bit off color and a couple of others approach the area of child molestation. Of course, psychs are fair game, so the apology doesn't apply to them.

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Missed opportunity: With one seat empty, a plane full of psychs crashes into a mountain.

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What is wrong with the following methods of handling a first grade student who wiggles in her or his seat?
A. Whack the student on the knuckles with a ruler.
B. Affectionately touch the student to calm him/her down.
C. Refer the student to the school psychologist for evaluation.

Method A implies that there is such a thing as right and wrong behavior. Yuck!
Method B could lead to jail time for the teacher.
Method C, while heading in the right direction, is incomplete (Drugs are indicated, of course).

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Q - How many shrinks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A - None. Even shrinks can't fit in a light bulb!

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When a teacher fondles a child affectionately, that is child abuse and a social ill proclaimed with headlines. When a psych gives Retalin and other drugs to young students in order to keep them quiet, that is treatment and a social good.

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A psych was before the court on charges connected with burning his child's hands over a gas burner. On direct examination by his attorney, the shrink testified that the burning was simply a behavior modification technique with which he had hoped to teach his child not to play with fire. The judge told the psych that he wished he could sentence him to Hell so that he could learn not to sin, but that he was limited by law to giving him two years in the county jail.

Lawrence Wiley, List owner, Copyright (c) 1998

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