- English teacher: "What is wrong with the following sentence, 'The insane psych are here?’"
- Student: "It is redundant."

***

A patient fell in love with his psych, a married woman. He pleaded with her to come up with some way for them to spend more time together. Seriously, the psych replied, "Seeing each other in downtrodden bars, sneaking to motel rooms on the wrong side of town, lying to our spouses and friends - is that what you want?" "No," sighed the discouraged patient. "Oh, well," said the shrink, "it was just a suggestion."

***

As the female patient ate her banana, the shrink's nether member stirred. He made a note, "penis fixation; sexual therapy recommended."

***

Another sad definition of a psychiatrist - A legal dope pusher.

***

- Woman: "Dr. Shrinkum, how long I will have to be hospitalized for my depression?"
- Shrinkum (reviewing the insurance information on her patient form): "Although I can't promise anything, I think that after about six months you'll have improved enough to be released."

Lawrence Wiley, List owner, Copyright (c) 1998

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