Ronnie was a German Shepherd police dog who had been trained to attack the most danger threatening person in a violent confrontation. If he and his policeman handler came upon someone being robbed, Ronnie would go after the robber without fail. One day, a frantic 911 call arrived from a terrified secretary of a psych clinic at which an outpatient had apparently gone berserk. When Ronnie and his handler arrived, they were confronted with the scene of the patient yelling and slashing a butcher knife at a shrink cowering behind his desk. The handler loosed Ronnie from his leash, and after only a moment's hesitation, the dog leaped for the shrink's throat.

***

Q - Do you know why most psychiatrists are atheists?
A - They cannot comprehend something greater than themselves.

***

Q - What does a psych use for birth control?
A - His or her personality.

***

A patient of Dr. Burnem had committed suicide while under his care. Seeing an opportunity to pad his bill, the good shrink doubled it before sending it to the dead woman's husband for payment. The irate husband phoned the psych and asked how the psych had the gall to send him a bill under such circumstances, to which Burnem replied that he had done everything he could for the woman, but that she had come to him too late. Nevertheless, the psych was willing to cut the bill in half out of the goodness of his heart. As the bill had been substantial, the husband was grateful for the discount and for Burnem's humanity.

Lawrence Wiley, List owner, Copyright (c) 1998

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